A relationship is not ruined by its problems, but by how its problems are handled

What's good everyone? Welcome to “On the Corner!”

I wanted to come to you all this evening to discuss how I feel about problems in relationships and how they are handled. You see --- every relationship has problems. And a lot of people think that having a lot of problems could potentially ruin a relationship. I disagree. I think that relationships are not ruined by the problems that arise in them, but by how the problems are handled.

Here’s Where I Stand…
At the top of mind, there are three major problems that can potentially ruin a relationship. There are more (I’m sure), but I am going to just discuss the following:

Lack of Communication. Okay – the way I handle my issues is different from the next person, but lack of communication is a SERIOUS problem in a relationship. Something bothering your man/woman and he/she isn’t talking? Yea --- big problem. A lack of communication can create a gap between you two and ultimately mess up the trust in the relationship. There should be no reason why you feel like you can’t talk to your significant other about something that’s going on in your life or within the relationship. Don’t be afraid to let someone in --- especially if they care. At the same token, learn how to sit down and talk to your man/woman --- be the shoulder they need to cry on (if necessary) or give them advice (only if they ask). It’s better to communicate and bring the problem to the light so you two can fix the problem together. Don’t get mad and walk away if they refuse to talk at that specific moment. Some issues may take time for someone to discuss openly.

Misunderstandings. Some rifts in relationships are caused by misunderstandings – but they go hand-in-hand with a lack of communication. For example: asking your man/woman what time he/she got home last night from the club could be a question that is highly understood. Are you asking because you stayed up all night waiting for a phone call or are you asking because your boo stayed out a little too late to be going to “dinner” with a few friends? A lot of misunderstandings in relationships have to do with WHAT is said and HOW it is said (or asked, given the previous example). If you see that homeboy/homegirl is taking your concerns the wrong way, then PLEASE do not argue with them because it will make matters worse. I’ve known some relationships to break up over a misunderstanding so simple, that it could have been cleared up if the two just sat down and talked about it. It only takes a few minutes to take a step back and try your best to clear up the misunderstanding (if there is one).

Lying/Cheating. For SERIOUS relationship only. Problems such as lying/cheating in a relationship is definitely one that will ruin a relationship --- to the point of no return. But here is where honesty can play a big part. If you catch your man/woman in a lie – give them a chance to be honest. If he/she truly wants to make it work, then the truth will come. Understand that being honest isn’t the EASIEST thing to do for everybody (and stop acting like YOU’RE an angel, LOL). Now if your man/woman tells you that they have cheated on you --- as HORRIBLE as that is --- you should give them credit. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but look at it like this. A huge mistake they’ve made has weighed on their conscience so much, that they had to come clean because they really want to make it work. They should also be able to tell you WHY they felt the need to go into the arms of someone else. If you lie/cheat, you should be able to own up to your mistakes and do the same thing. If he/she is willing to make it work, then they will be all ears. I mean --- it’s not guaranteed that the relationship will survive, but it’s worth a shot. On the other hand, finding out that your man/woman cheated is something totally different lol. You need to handle that!

Still…
Whether it’s lack of communication, misunderstandings or something much worse, people will end a relationship because it seems too stressful or they feel that the problems can’t be solved. I can understand that.

There is also a difference between a relationship that has a problem every once in a while versus a relationship that has problems every day. When ANY relationship becomes stessful, it’s time to reevaluate why one is still in the relationship in the first place.

It all boils down to whether you TWO want it to work. If the feeling is mutual, then how you SOLVE your problems will bring you two even closer.

Oh well, that’s just me…

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’