Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Where would you stand if you were in a relationship with someone and their family didn’t like you?

*Topic*
You may see feuds between husband/wife and mother/father-in-law on sitcoms but being in a relationship with someone and their family doesn’t like you is NOT a joke.

In fact – it is a situation that can lead to several issues in a relationship including but not limited to
· heated arguments
· separate family functions
· break ups

We’d like to think that when we introduce someone to our family, he/she will be greeted with smiles, hugs, and made welcome.

Unfortunately – it doesn’t always end up that way…

*Question*
“Where would you stand if you were in a relationship with someone and their family didn’t like you?”

*5 Questions to consider*
“Have you done anything that would cause the family to not like you?”
“Would you try your best to be cordial, or would you display the same attitude they show you?”
“If they apologize for any harm they may have caused you, would you accept the apology and work toward a positive relationship?”
“What if kids are involved?”
“Is it grounds for breaking up? Would you give your bf/gf an ultimatum?”

Here’s Where I Stand…
Hmm – I think it depends on how serious the “dislike” is. But overall, I think I would continue the relationship I’m in. I could care less who approves of it or not.

If I did something that would cause the family not to like me, I would try my best to apologize (if it was something that I didn’t do intentionally). If it was the other way around, I’d accept their apology and I’m move forward.

For the sake of kids, I would really try to make the relationship with her family work. I feel it’s important for children to get to know their family and establish growing relationships.

Still…
There comes a point where disrespect is DISRESPECT. Sure, I was raised to be a polite young man, but I will NOT let anybody’s family disrespect me based on issues such as race, religion or creed.

I wouldn’t expect my girl to jump in because it is her family and by God, they come first. However, she better be prepared to pick up the pieces if all hell breaks loose. By then, she’d have to make a choice.

Where do you stand?

Readers Responses:
This post did not receive enough responses. But feel free to check the comments section if you would like to know what others think!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Is long distance a valid reason NOT to get into a relationship – or is it just another excuse?

*Topic*
I’ve been having a few conversations lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that “long distance” is a valid reason not to get into a relationship.

Why? Because after a while, trust issues start to form, people start to lead separate lives and it just goes down hill from there.

People say only the strongest of love can survive long distance relationships, but even a relationship that lasts for years can be torn apart in a second.

I may be biased based on a past “relationship,” but I feel that I’m not the only one who believes that long distance relationships are NOT the way to go. Am I?

*Question*
“Is long distance a valid reason NOT to get into a relationship – or is it just another excuse?”

*5 Questions to consider*
“What is your level of trust in your bf/gf?”
“How often would be an acceptable time to see each other?”
“Are you more of a physical or an emotional person?”
“Do you think girls are more willing to have a long distance relationship than guys?”
“Has it worked for you in the past?”

Here’s Where I Stand…
I honestly believe that long distances relationships will not work based on all the issues that can arise.

Trust – as in ALL relationships – must be 110% when dealing with long distance relationships and if there is any room for doubt then it will never last.

Depending on the distance between a couple, the amount of times they can see each other also plays a big part. If you are a person who craves a lot of physical or emotional attention – then a long distance relationship is definitely a no-go!

From previous conversations, it seems like girls are more willing to give long distance relationships a chance, but are also the ones most hurt.

Still…
I believe the only way a long distance relationship COULD work, is if a foundation was set prior to the relationship becoming long distance. By foundation, I’m not talking about 2-3 months – I’m talking about 2-3 years.

There must also be an understanding that the couple intends to move closer together in the near future. It makes no sense to STAY long distance if you really want to maintain a long and healthy relationship.

They also say: If you REALLY want to make something work – you will.
Okay – I’ve done my part.

Readers' Responses:
1) "Depends on how much the person wants you and the maturity level. and of course ... financial stability is a plus."

2) "I think everyone should try it at least once. It's the ultimate test. But if you're an attention whore, a nympho, have major insecurities, clingy, immature, jealous or if you have extreme trust issues i do not recommend the long distance relationship for you.."

3) "Only way I think it will work is if you already have a strong relationship that was started before the distance became a factor. But to start off with any distance between you is a tough job to do."

4) "YES IT IS! Having strong feelings for someone you can't physically hold or be intimate (not sexual) with for months on end is torture."

5) "It depends on a few things:
1. Prayer
2. Determination
3. Communication
4. Money
5. Love, Trust, Honor

if you lack any of those.. a relationship near or far is NOT for you."

6) "I actually disagree with the notion of it only working if the relationship was strong BEFORE the distance... i think it's the opposite. If you start with long distances you get accustomed to them and you will develop a routine that works for both of you... it's when you're not used to the distance when things can go wrong because you're so used to being able to see each other at any whim"

7) "It's possible bc 'distance never sepreate two hearts that really care"

8) " If you cant honestly say you can be there for a person when they most need it, then whats the point."

9) "The best part of a long distance relationship is that when (yes WHEN) it's over, you don't have to dread the possibility of running into the recent ex everywhere. lol."

10) "I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about the first year we were together & it is was the best decision i made! if it is meant to be, it will be:)"

All these and more in the comments section!