What’s good HWISS? Going forward – if time permits – I’m going to try something different. I plan to stick to a common theme for the topic/situation in question.
December’s theme is all about honesty --- by choice or circumstance.
As part of my blog (
http://www.hwiss.blogspot.com/), I’d like to offer the opinions of other people. As such, please read the
situation carefully and feel free to share your honest thoughts/opinions. *Remember, there is no right/wrong answer!*
Some responses will be included in the "top reader's responses" a week later.
*Situation*How many partners have you had?
Do you still have feelings for your ex?
How long have you known him/her?
Did you ever cheat on your ex? Hell --- did you ever cheat on me?
Questions like (but not limited to) the ones above are asked all the time and the answers could lead to an open and honest relationship --- or a closed and insecure one.
While it’s very important to have relationships based on trust – some people are not open and honest about their past for a myriad of reasons:
• they’re afraid of their bf/gf’s reactions,
• they may not get a second chance,
• their past has nothing to do with the person he/she is presently, etc.
In fact, some people have the “don’t ask, don’t tell,” policy.
However, some may agree that it’s better to be honest and let it all out before it comes back full force! At least in these cases, one’s bf/gf could be fully aware of what has happened/what is happening, so he/she is not surprised – or one’s bf/gf could take the hint and keep it moving (lol).
All jokes aside – many people wonder why their bf/gf’s last dating situation/relationship didn’t work out or why their bf/gf’s “good friend” is coming into town and trying to meet up with them, etc.
Would it be wrong if they asked? Would it be right?
With the exception of health (because it is VERY important that people are honest about their health before getting into ANY relationship) –
*Question*
“Should people dating/in relationships openly and honestly discuss their past?”
*5 Questions to consider*“Are you the type of person who believes the past is the past?”
“Could you trust and believe that your bf/gf’s past is the past and that they’re ready and willing to move forward with you?”
“Have you done anything that would cause a major concern?”
“Would you expect that your bf/gf is completely honest with you about their past?”
“Would you be ready to hear something that you really didn’t want to know the answer to?”
Here's Where I Stand...
I'm going to run with this and say "No." Why? Because I think discussing one's past -- whether positive or negative can break more things than fix it (at least early on in a relationship). For example, telling your new bf/gf about how much you loved your ex and how great of a relationship it was --- could lead to insecurities on their part. He/she may ask him/herself, "Well damn -- are you sure you don't want to be with your ex?"
We have to remember that a "good past" may not be the best thing to hear either. Especially now since the pressue is on your current bf/gf to step up his/her game!
Still...
I believe people should at least discuss their LAST situation as it can relate to why he/she is currently looking for a new relationship in the first place. No one wants a rebound --- or the guy/girl who cheated so many times that they were dumped!
This is definitely one of those honesty by choice/circumstance situations.
Anyway -- just wanted to get the ball rolling...
Where do you stand?Reader responses will be posted at a later date.
