Handling the (sometimes brutal) truth in friendships/relationships

What's good HWISS? I wanted to come to you all this afternoon to discuss how I feel about the (sometimes brutal) truth in friendships/relationships.

Before I go on --- let me explain what I mean by “brutal truth.”

A brutal truth is something originally lied about/never revealed until after-the-fact. These truths ultimately affect relationships once they are revealed. Realistically speaking, the truth is not always sugar-coated candy raindrops – especially in friendships/relationships. I feel that most successful relationships involve situations in which a brutal truth was revealed and a person was forgiven ---- but it’s never usually that easy.

If you find out the truth about something that could ultimately affect your relationship--- how will you handle it?

Here’s Where I Stand…
How you learn about the truth makes all of the difference in the world. Understanding that the truth may not come as easy to others as it may to you (don’t act like you’re an angel) --- credit should be given to someone who tells you the truth about something he/she may have kept secret or originally lied about. After all, nobody OWES you an explanation for anything. Remember that. If someone tells you anything, respect that they wished to tell you at all.

Please note that I am not saying that you should not be upset when you find out the (sometimes brutal) truth about something. You have a RIGHT to be upset --- especially if it’s something that can ultimately affect your relationship! In fact, it may take a week or so for everything to register in your mind. You should, however, also be relieved that the truth is finally out.

When it’s all said and done --- you have to ask yourself: Is this friendship/relationship worth keeping? If there is any doubt in your mind, then the answer is “NO.”
Do not FORCE yourself to be a friend/bf/gf to someone that you cannot trust because you will be doing yourself and that person a disservice.

If you want a friendship/relationship to work, then you have to explain to the other person that although you are upset with the situation, you respect his/her honesty. Get all of your feelings out on the table, because after this --- the conversation should never be brought up again. Do not use the situation as a weapon to throw in someone’s face every time an argument starts up or a similar circumstance seems to be appearing. If you want a friendship/relationship to work, you should trust that the same mistake will not be made twice. In the event that it does happen again -- go to the previous paragraph.


Still…
How you learn about the truth makes all of the difference in the world (lol). If you find out the truth from someone other than the parties involved --- then you have to ask yourself whether you can trust your “friend” or “bf/gf,” to EVER be honest with you.

And honestly – if you ever have to ask yourself that question – then the situation is handled right there. You either need to leave that friendship/relationship alone or make some changes to how you interact with him/her.

When in doubt – it’s always better to ask than to assume and you should trust the person naturally. But if you continue to hear different things, or your gut is telling you something otherwise, then you need to get down to the bottom of things. F*ck the he-say/she-say: bring all parties involved together and let the truth come out. Trust me --- it can’t get any better than that!

Whether you decide to keep a friendship/relationship or not, you ultimately have to re-examine yourself as a person and determine whether you can hold true to YOUR decision. Can you handle it?

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’