What's good HWISS?
I wanted to come to you all this moring to discuss how I feel about independence in relationships. While there are some areas in which one has to be dependent on the other, it should not always be the case.
When we’re single, we’re used to doing some things on our own. Whether it’s buying our own food, clothes, or handling our own internal issues --- we are somewhat “independent.”
However, the moment we get involved in a relationship, we begin to get comfortable with knowing that SOMEONE is always there --- to do things for you when you “can’t”; to talk to when you have an issue and/or pick you up when you fall.
There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but we must also remember not to lose a sense of ourselves and keep some independence.
Here’s Where I Stand…
This topic reminds me of Usher’s song, “You Got It Bad,” -- because once we become dependent on someone, it seems as HE/SHE is the only person that can make us happy, make our problems go away, etc.
We should try to remember that at one time, we were able to stand on our own two feet --- and that a relationship should complement our independence, not take away from it.
There comes a time where we feel we may NEED someone to be there for us --- perhaps a death in the family, loss of a job, sickness. These are the times when we are most vulnerable – but these could also be the times when we are forced to be our strongest.
Still…
Let’s not get TOO ahead of ourselves where we feel that we don’t need ANYONE. If you feel that you don’t need anyone, you won’t have anyone. If someone wants to be there for you, do nice things, etc --- let them (and be glad that you have someone that wants to be there.) However, don’t get to the point where your happiness relies on the actions of someone other than yourself. Keep your OWN friends, do things YOU like to do, buy YOURSELF something every now and then. The goal is to have a balance between the two.
The lesson today is: There’s nothing wrong with “needing” someone, as long as you have the strength to stand on your own two feet in the event that someone can’t/won’t be there.
Where do YOU stand?
P.S. -- Coming to YouTube soon!!! Stay tuned!
The Open Relationship
2 years ago
5 comments:
Hmmm...I don't even want to get started on this topic-
I'm too independent, even when in need. Which is not always a great thing.
Ur rite --- there is a such thing as being TOO independent. Most who feel that they don't need anyone, ends up with no one. The goal is to find a middle ground where you aren't completely dependent.
Wanting attention is separate from needing attention. There's nothing wrong with wanting, but when you need someone, I feel u lose a sense of yourself.
I agree if you are talking about attention. However, just being in need of your mate depends on the situation & circumstances, which does not mean you are losing yourself just b/c ex. you may be in need of comfort due to the passing away of a close family member.
Ur absolutely rite and that's why there needs to be a balance. We all have needs that may not be as serious as the example you provided, but when everything becomes a need--- it becomes a problem for both parties involved.
You have to know who you are and know how to make decisions, in order to be independent. I always get what I want and can provide myself with what I need.
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