*Situation*
You are having a great time at a social gathering, but at one point in the night, you catch someone giving you the side-eye in the distance.
It doesn’t bother you at first, but as the night progresses, you begin to realize that it is very clear that he/she has a problem with you. You continue to enjoy your night until he/she walks up to you.
“Do you have a problem?” He/she says, “Because if you do, we can get it there!”
He/she proceeds to take off his/her jacket or whatever -- It may be a possibility that he/she may be drunk, but at the same time, you have someone all up in your personal space.
PS>>> While everyone does not go to the club, I must add that the previous paragraph was an example of the situation. One of my ACE reporters, I.N.K. recalls a situation where he had to draw the line – not at a club – but at a stop light with a crossing guard. The situations are limitless (lol)
With that said:
*Question*
“If someone steps to you, where do you draw the line between playing it cool and kicking azz?”
*5 Questions to consider*
“Does it matter where you are?”
“Does it matter what you’re wearing?”
“Does it matter who you’re with?”
“If someone steps to your friend in the same manner, what would be your role?”
“Would you be willing to deal with the consequences involved?
Here's where I stand...
I can recall a few similar situations where I had to draw a line between playing it cool and kicking azz, and I believe in every situation I've had to ask myself, "Would you be willing to deal with the consequences involved?"
I think in most instances, people can walk away from a situation without it escalating to a more serious altercation. We're at an age now where it's the MATURE thing to do. I think the location of the event and who a person is with is a big factor in the decision to play it cool or kick azz.
If a friend was in a similar situation, I would try my best to break it up without fueling the altercation.
Still...
There are times where a person can not walk away. I am not talking about because someone called a girl/guy out of his/her name -- I am talking about the point in which a person attempts to become physical. It is at this point that I feel it is necessary to kick that azz (or one may end up getting their azz kicked lol). I do not condone fighting, but I do believe people should be able to defend themselves if the situation occurs.
With that said, I believe people should be VERY careful before making the decision to kick azz. There may be some very serious consequences as a result: embarassment, arrest/jail, and the possibility of someone getting extremely hurt.
Where do you stand?
Reader's Responses:
1)"If someone steps to me, I would laugh, because they just don't know me lol ya heard!"
2)"I was so ready to beat a crossing gaurds ass today and get arrested if it wasn't for my grandmother being in the car."
3)"If someone jumps at you for no reason that you know of, of course, go off on them and make them learn a lesson. But if you know you can't win than maybe you should run. Then again, where are you that such people would openly approach you and is the reason really you? If it's you, then check yourself, if it's not, and there's no physical threat, ignore it. Feeding that person with your attention does nothing for you but waste time, and I know I not wasting my time like that. Pick your battles."
4)"My role would be to keep my friend calm unless the other person swings."
5)"As a lady - I don't hit first. I don't run off at the mouth. If someone approaches ME with an issue, they better be ready for the consequences of THEIR actions. Cause at the end of the day self-defense won't get me arrested...but it WILL get you messed up!"
6)"As far as a friend role, it really depends on the friend and how they act. Of course I'm never gonna let my peoples get beat up tho."
7)"Thinking too much about my gear may open the doorway for a unexpected ass whoopin. Addendum: If you are suited, then you are in a social environment not conducive to kickin ass."
8)"Anybody with me should know that I suffer from a severe napoleonic complex, fights just come with the territory."
9)"When all is said and done, the best way to deal with conflict is to avoid it. However, if you have no choice, strike fast, aim for the throat ear or pelvis (all effective one shot fight enders), and maintain your cool prior to and post fight."
10)"If you are around a bunch of drunks and think you should act mindless to have fun, I think it may be easier for someone to rub you the wrong way or you rub them wrong."
The Open Relationship
2 years ago
10 comments:
Did see my status? Hmmmph
I never would have thought I would have threatened someone!
U know hamilotn st where the school is? Well im coming down that hill and he (the crossing guard) is there so I start slowing down. I have a big ass car so as i get to the end of the road he starts blowing his whistle and yelling im looking like what the hell is he doing.
He like STOP I SAID STOP
I was like SHUT THE HELL UP I SEE YOUR ASS! WTF U THINK IM GONNA RUN DOWN THESE DAMN KIDS? SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I GET OUT MY DAMN CAR! My grandmother was like "just go just go" Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so ready to beat a crossing gaurds ass today and get arrested if it wasn't for my grandmother being in the car.
If someone steps to me, I would laugh, because they just don't know me lol ya heard!
LOL@ the stop light. First this is too general....depends on person/situation/background etc. But here's my quick version:
Yes it matters where I am...Doesn't matter what I'm wearing...Maybe would matter who I'm with (church friends vs. school friends lol)...My role would be to keep my friend calm unless the other person swings...Always willing for consequences.
As a lady - I don't hit first. I don't run off at the mouth. If someone approaches ME with an issue, they better be ready for the consequences of THEIR actions. Cause at the end of the day self-defense won't get me arrested...but it WILL get you messed up!
First off, I don't think those words and look would get me mad enough to fight anymore. There would have to be more going on. I don't think you ever saw my bad side in college but I think enough people have at UNC to say that it doesn't matter what I'm wearing, who I'm with, or where it is what's I get at my peak. I will say I attempt to stay cool and calm and at work but I have gotten heated there too lol. As far as a friend role, it really depends on the friend and how they act. Of course I'm never gonna let my peoples get beat up tho. Hope all is well, see ya Homecoming
As someone who had numerous tussles from elementary school all the way through college, I realize now that there are several things that must be considered.
1. As a person of color, my actions will automatically be applied to someone's mental perception of an entire group of people. Whether people want to accept this fact or not, it happens. So this eliminates me getting into a rumble in any location where my actions can be injurious professionally or socially; not just to me but to an entire demographic.
2. However, if it comes down to it. Clothes are material, who cares if they get messed up, I can always get new clothes. Thinking too much about my gear may open the doorway for a unexpected ass whoopin. Addendum: If you are suited, then you are in a social environment not conducive to kickin ass.
3. Anybody with me should know that I suffer from a severe napoleonic complex, fights just come with the territory.
4. Everyone must fight their own battles, as long as they are evenly matched. I wouldn't let someone manhandle a friend while using any foreign objects. So a stick, brick, bottle, etc. would buy an assailant a one way ticket to a cheap shot...compliments of yours truly.
5. If you can't deal with the consequences, then walk away. However, this goes back to #1.
When all is said and done, the best way to deal with conflict is to avoid it. However, if you have no choice, strike fast, aim for the throat ear or pelvis (all effective one shot fight enders), and maintain your cool prior to and post fight.
It matters that I got a law degree to get. That's it!
I think there is one more thing that was mentioned slightly but may need to be considered more fully. Where are you and how is your manner?
If you are around a bunch of drunks and think you should act mindless to have fun, I think it may be easier for someone to rub you the wrong way or you rub them wrong.
If you paste an angry, constipated face on when you walk around people, either by yourself or with others, people are more likely to have a problem with you and not want to act the right way around you as they would with someone whose face is more pleasently presented.
If someone jumps at you for no reason that you know of, of course, go off on them and make them learn a lesson. But if you know you can't win than maybe you should run. Then again, where are you that such people would openly approach you and is the reason really you? If it's you, then check yourself, if it's not, and there's no physical threat, ignore it. Feeding that person with your attention does nothing for you but waste time, and I know I not wasting my time like that. Pick your battles.
I agree a lot with Hale by the way
Well first it depends on the situation if they are drunk its not worth it. For the simple fact they are not thinking straight and they are looking for more attention. Now if they are sober its a different stroy they are clearly thinking and to maybe hold there own, and they just simply have a problem with you for whatever reason. Them I would have to do something definately.
I would wait for the first punch , but you have to mind your surrounding there could be more then one. and if you can't avoid it do what you have to.
Well T.H., we disagree on this one because I DO condone fighting. I come from a small town where somebody catching a beatdown was common and no big deal really. What you learn is to live your life avoiding confrontation meaning don't be mouthy or have a nasty attitude or make yourself a target by being extra. Simply live your life. That being said, when you're in the club you must have a tolerance for ignorance. People are drunk. However, I can't envision myself walking away from someone who is confronting me with a stank attitude. And occasionally, it's good to have a knock down drag out so you can get it out of your system. Clearly, if they're confronting me there is a problem that existed before we got there. Last, if a friend is in the situation assess the environment and determine if your friend can win. Give them space to handle the situation diplomatically first. If that doesn't work, if your crew is outnumbered and odds aren't in your favor go ahead and encourage them to walk away. BUT if it's even, go for it. Most important NEVER leave a fighting friend hanging. Pull someone off, jump in. Take one for the team. A good question is it better/worse to get punked OR get your ass beat???
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