SEE YOU SOON!!!

What's good HWISS readers!

I just posted my 25th and final post for the blog!!! It's time for me to move on to the Twitter scene and make myself heard in another way! While I'm on Twitter, I'll be back to change the "look" of the blog around, as it will be the home page for my soon-to-be YouTube Channel!

Oh yes --- big things in store for HWISS! Thanks for reading, and be sure to follow me on Twitter to let me know where YOU stand!

http://www.twitter.com/Mr_HWISS

Handling the (sometimes brutal) truth in friendships/relationships

What's good HWISS? I wanted to come to you all this afternoon to discuss how I feel about the (sometimes brutal) truth in friendships/relationships.

Before I go on --- let me explain what I mean by “brutal truth.”

A brutal truth is something originally lied about/never revealed until after-the-fact. These truths ultimately affect relationships once they are revealed. Realistically speaking, the truth is not always sugar-coated candy raindrops – especially in friendships/relationships. I feel that most successful relationships involve situations in which a brutal truth was revealed and a person was forgiven ---- but it’s never usually that easy.

If you find out the truth about something that could ultimately affect your relationship--- how will you handle it?

Here’s Where I Stand…
How you learn about the truth makes all of the difference in the world. Understanding that the truth may not come as easy to others as it may to you (don’t act like you’re an angel) --- credit should be given to someone who tells you the truth about something he/she may have kept secret or originally lied about. After all, nobody OWES you an explanation for anything. Remember that. If someone tells you anything, respect that they wished to tell you at all.

Please note that I am not saying that you should not be upset when you find out the (sometimes brutal) truth about something. You have a RIGHT to be upset --- especially if it’s something that can ultimately affect your relationship! In fact, it may take a week or so for everything to register in your mind. You should, however, also be relieved that the truth is finally out.

When it’s all said and done --- you have to ask yourself: Is this friendship/relationship worth keeping? If there is any doubt in your mind, then the answer is “NO.”
Do not FORCE yourself to be a friend/bf/gf to someone that you cannot trust because you will be doing yourself and that person a disservice.

If you want a friendship/relationship to work, then you have to explain to the other person that although you are upset with the situation, you respect his/her honesty. Get all of your feelings out on the table, because after this --- the conversation should never be brought up again. Do not use the situation as a weapon to throw in someone’s face every time an argument starts up or a similar circumstance seems to be appearing. If you want a friendship/relationship to work, you should trust that the same mistake will not be made twice. In the event that it does happen again -- go to the previous paragraph.


Still…
How you learn about the truth makes all of the difference in the world (lol). If you find out the truth from someone other than the parties involved --- then you have to ask yourself whether you can trust your “friend” or “bf/gf,” to EVER be honest with you.

And honestly – if you ever have to ask yourself that question – then the situation is handled right there. You either need to leave that friendship/relationship alone or make some changes to how you interact with him/her.

When in doubt – it’s always better to ask than to assume and you should trust the person naturally. But if you continue to hear different things, or your gut is telling you something otherwise, then you need to get down to the bottom of things. F*ck the he-say/she-say: bring all parties involved together and let the truth come out. Trust me --- it can’t get any better than that!

Whether you decide to keep a friendship/relationship or not, you ultimately have to re-examine yourself as a person and determine whether you can hold true to YOUR decision. Can you handle it?

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’

The importance of independence in relationships

What's good HWISS?

I wanted to come to you all this moring to discuss how I feel about independence in relationships. While there are some areas in which one has to be dependent on the other, it should not always be the case.

When we’re single, we’re used to doing some things on our own. Whether it’s buying our own food, clothes, or handling our own internal issues --- we are somewhat “independent.”

However, the moment we get involved in a relationship, we begin to get comfortable with knowing that SOMEONE is always there --- to do things for you when you “can’t”; to talk to when you have an issue and/or pick you up when you fall.

There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but we must also remember not to lose a sense of ourselves and keep some independence.

Here’s Where I Stand…
This topic reminds me of Usher’s song, “You Got It Bad,” -- because once we become dependent on someone, it seems as HE/SHE is the only person that can make us happy, make our problems go away, etc.

We should try to remember that at one time, we were able to stand on our own two feet --- and that a relationship should complement our independence, not take away from it.

There comes a time where we feel we may NEED someone to be there for us --- perhaps a death in the family, loss of a job, sickness. These are the times when we are most vulnerable – but these could also be the times when we are forced to be our strongest.

Still…
Let’s not get TOO ahead of ourselves where we feel that we don’t need ANYONE. If you feel that you don’t need anyone, you won’t have anyone. If someone wants to be there for you, do nice things, etc --- let them (and be glad that you have someone that wants to be there.) However, don’t get to the point where your happiness relies on the actions of someone other than yourself. Keep your OWN friends, do things YOU like to do, buy YOURSELF something every now and then. The goal is to have a balance between the two.

The lesson today is: There’s nothing wrong with “needing” someone, as long as you have the strength to stand on your own two feet in the event that someone can’t/won’t be there.

Where do YOU stand?

P.S. -- Coming to YouTube soon!!! Stay tuned!

Wanna know where I really stand?

Follow me on Twitter...

http://twitter.com/Mr_HWISS

Real life updates about real life situations

--- Next up? YouTube!

On the Corner: If you feel that he/she isn’t doing enough, maybe you are doing too much.

What's good everyone? Welcome to “On the Corner!”

I wanted to come to you all this evening to discuss a phrase that I hear often: “He/She’s not doing enough!”

Declines in phone calls, lack of timely responses to text messages, shortness in conversations --- these are just some of the reasons why someone may feel that his/her man/woman isn’t “doing enough.”

Some people feel that the attention they give/ the effort they put out to communicate to their loved ones should be equal. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Once the honeymoon period is over --- all of the little things that used to make you smile start to dwindle. That’s life --- but the moment you feel that he/she isn’t doing enough, you may be the one that’s doing too much.

Here’s Where I Stand…
In relationships, equal efforts should be made when it comes to communication/showing attention. I personally feel like relationships should be 50/50. I understand that most relationships are NOT 50/50, but it should be closest to that number as possible.

It sucks to be the person who feels that they make all of the effort to communicate or make things happen in a relationship, but there comes a time that people must realize that if they are not getting out what they are putting in, then they don’t need to put out that much.

If you feel like you are ALWAYS the one reaching out to someone, showing him/her attention, this—that—and the other--- maybe you need to reevaluate the effort that YOU put in. Maybe you need to lie off of the calls every two hours, or sending a text message every morning (like you used to), or making plans to do things that only YOU want to do. I’m not telling you to cut the person off -- just lie off of the EXTRA things you do. You get what I’m saying?

It’s hard not to seem spiteful when you do a thing like this, but people need to realize that it’s about making the relationship equal. Maybe once you fall back, you will become more appreciated…maybe not.

If you see that the relationship is not getting better, then you need to ask yourself why you are even with someone who doesn’t give you the attention you feel you deserve.

Still…
People change. With changes in people there are changes in relationships. In every relationship, there is a “honeymoon period.” This is the time in which people go the extra mile to impress the person they like, extra attention is given, special exceptions are made, etc.
The honeymoon period ends as soon as one person gets comfortable. If one’s heart is already won, what’s the point of going the extra mile?

Don’t assume the worst. I mean it could be ANY reason why someone doesn’t call as much, send text messages when you want a response, may now show enough attention. What reasons are those? I don’t know – ask them lol. Seriously though, it’s nothing wrong with bringing it to the attention of the person you’re dealing with. They may be doing the things that they do unconsciously.

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’

Going viral? YouTube next?

What's good HWISS...

I must admit; Im starting to get a lil' lazy with this writing thing...

Perhaps it's time to expand to another social network... Something that will REALLY get my face out there and my thoughts (and yours)...

Maybe YouTube is next? Who knows...

All I know is that I need to put a lot of thought into my next steps. I'm sure I'll have it all set by the fall.

Be back soon with an update!

Readers Wanna Know: What do men REALLY want?

What's good everyone? Welcome to “Readers Wanna Know!”

In this series, I will comment on notes written from outside sources. Topics will and can be serious/funny/crazy azz hell. So yes, PLEASE email me your thoughts and ideas on situations/topics/videos/songs – whatever you’d like!

Topic: What do men REALLY want?

This entry's topic comes from T. Chilongo, a graduate student at Georgia State University.

Ms. Chilongo wrote an essay titled, “Minds of Men,” where she discusses how --- despite years of relationship experience --- women still can’t seem to understand what men want.

Before I let you know where I stand, I’ll let you read her note for yourself. After you finish reading, please answer the following question directly on the blog, this note/bulletin or through PM:

T. Chilongo writes:
Ok, so for those of yall who know me know that I love to write and that I use to be an avid blogger, so now after a hiatus, I'm back!!!!! The reason for this note is that after conversations with several of my wonderful girlfriends and my own life experiences, I have realized that I know very little bout relationships and even less about men, lol! After one of my best friends called to ask me for advice about a guy who she has been dating for a year and who doesnt want to committ nor does he know what he wants, I realized I had absolutely nothing to offer. I mean, personally, I am coming out of a 4 year relationship with a man who I thought was the one, but let's just say people grow up and grow apart, so now im back in this jungle thats known as the singles scene and I have absolutely no idea how this works.

After several convos wit the girls,I realize that none of us have any idea what we're doing, we're all in "situations" with guys that we care about and who supposedly care about us but are unwilling or incapable of commiting for various reason (i.e-ex hang ups, fear of commitment, or inability to be monogamous). So the question is what do we do as women? We are all beautiful, educated women with our stuff together who are looking for wonderful men who have something to offer and are not afraid to commit, but it seems as though men in their mid to late 20s arent looking for relationships; they want a woman/women at their disposal and are even willing to go above and beyond to make that woman feel special, but when feelings start coming into play all the sudden things get kind of complicated. They still want us to remain in their lives but yet they are unwillingly to give us what we want. So being soft, caring and females we tend to stick around and cater to their needs while at the same time we settle on our on needs.

So the purpose of this note is to get some male insight on what it is that guys want. So if you are a male, please leave any insight or advice that you have for us women who have no idea what goes through yalls mind lol. I look forward to reading y'alls advice!

Here’s Where I Stand…
It's so easy to generalize... "Women want," or "Men want," --- but people fail to realize that there will NEVER be a concensus on what we want. That's the problem. People are so caught up in these situations that they forget that everybody IS different, and that maybe a man/woman IS looking for a relationship -- but just wants to take it slow. I ... Read Moredon't think it's anything wrong with that.

Relationships are so overrated. The moment someone finds someone that they like; they're quick to jump in a relationship. --- Stop and take time; get to know someone. You can date someone for a YEAR and still not be in a relationship.

My point is: You will never know what MEN want --- but you may find out what I want, or another other guy who decides to post a response. We all want different things. People shouldn't let past experiences dictate how things are in general. So what if you dated 20 men and it all ended the same. There are millions more men out there that are totally different. Know that at OUR age (mid - late 20s); it IS important to take things slowly before rushing into a relationship --- and to be very patient if the other person can't come to terms with that title. It all starts with communication and understanding.

Where do YOU stand?

Is it any of your/his/her friends' business?

What’s good HWISS?

As part of my blog, I’d like to offer the opinions of other people. As such, please read the question carefully and feel free to share your honest thoughts/opinions.

Before you answer, please take note of the five additional questions to consider and feel free to pose your own. *Remember, there is no right/wrong answer!*

*Topic*
How many times have you spoke with a friend about a problem in a relationship and your friend says, "You know what? You just need to leave him/her alone!" --- and you did just that (and regretted it).

On the other hand, how many times has a friend saved you from making the biggest relationship mistake of your life? Just when you were ready to throw in the towel, you friend says, "Hey --- just give him/her another try." --- and you did just that (and were happy with your decision).

Many people ask their friends for advice to figure out their problems --- especially problems dealing with their relationships. While some may believe that their friends offer great advice; others may disagree as friends can also offer the "wrong advice."

Because friends have such an important role; sometimes their opinion matters more than yours --- and that could potentially be dangerous (or helpful) when it comes to YOUR relationship.

With that said...

*Question*
“Is it any of your/his/her friends' business to discuss the problems in YOUR relationship?

*5 Questions to consider*
“Do you know your man/woman's friends?"
"Do you LIKE your man/woman's? friends?"
"How often do you two have problems?"
"Do you talk to your friends about relationship problems?"
"Should friends be consulted on a case-by-case basis?"

Here's Where I Stand @ www.hwiss.blogspot.com

Here’s Where I Stand…
Involving friends in relationships could lead to several problems. You have to understand that most friends have your best interest in mind --- or at least they believe they do. As such, they will tell you anything to make you happy.

"You're too good for this," "Leave that boy/girl alone," "We going out tonight --- f*ck them!" ---

I'm sure you've heard it before, but you REALLY have to be careful that your friend just isn't trying to ruin your relationship. Some friends may "appear" to be happy for you, but in all reatlity, they may be a little jealous of you and/or your relationship.

Not being directly a part of your relationship can be harmful too --- because as you know, most relationship problems are one-sided. Not knowing the WHOLE story could cause a friend to tell you the wrong thing, and you don't really want that.

Also --- sometimes friends don't know what the HELL they are talking about! LOL


Still…
Sometimes you/your man/woman may need to talk to a friend. Aside from the SERIOUS issues such as abuse/cheating --- having someone on the outside weigh-in on a problem can expose one to a solution that was never thought of. Talking to a friend may be very well what's needed to save your relationship or save yourself. I think it is acceptable on a case-by-case basis.

Where do you stand?

Communication is the key; without it, all is lost.

What's good everyone? I was going to hit you all with a question for this post, but I decided to continue where I left off from the previous topic; Relationships are not ruined by their problems, but how their problems are handled.

You see this topic is a lot more in-depth than I thought, so I felt that it's necessary to break down one more time. What it all boils down to is this: Communication is the key; without it, all is lost.

Here’s Where I Stand…
After an argument, misunderstanding, or a blatant wrongdoing, it will take more than just an apology to make things better in a relationship: --- it will needs lots of communication. By communication, I'm mainly talking about speaking, but whatever method works best for both parties will suffice.

The longer it takes to discuss a problem, the worse matters COULD become.

Still...
Not everyone can communicate their feelings... but if that's the case, maybe they shouldn't be in a relationship until they can.

***Okay yall, I gotta be real lol*** - I really came to go IN on this topic, but I was sidetracked, and being sidetracked led to a trip to the mall, which led to a trip to NYC for the night. So yea,,, needless to say, my thoughts are gone right about now.

Oh well -- I'll catch yall Mid-May! Stay tuned for the next topic! Where will YOU stand?

A relationship is not ruined by its problems, but by how its problems are handled

What's good everyone? Welcome to “On the Corner!”

I wanted to come to you all this evening to discuss how I feel about problems in relationships and how they are handled. You see --- every relationship has problems. And a lot of people think that having a lot of problems could potentially ruin a relationship. I disagree. I think that relationships are not ruined by the problems that arise in them, but by how the problems are handled.

Here’s Where I Stand…
At the top of mind, there are three major problems that can potentially ruin a relationship. There are more (I’m sure), but I am going to just discuss the following:

Lack of Communication. Okay – the way I handle my issues is different from the next person, but lack of communication is a SERIOUS problem in a relationship. Something bothering your man/woman and he/she isn’t talking? Yea --- big problem. A lack of communication can create a gap between you two and ultimately mess up the trust in the relationship. There should be no reason why you feel like you can’t talk to your significant other about something that’s going on in your life or within the relationship. Don’t be afraid to let someone in --- especially if they care. At the same token, learn how to sit down and talk to your man/woman --- be the shoulder they need to cry on (if necessary) or give them advice (only if they ask). It’s better to communicate and bring the problem to the light so you two can fix the problem together. Don’t get mad and walk away if they refuse to talk at that specific moment. Some issues may take time for someone to discuss openly.

Misunderstandings. Some rifts in relationships are caused by misunderstandings – but they go hand-in-hand with a lack of communication. For example: asking your man/woman what time he/she got home last night from the club could be a question that is highly understood. Are you asking because you stayed up all night waiting for a phone call or are you asking because your boo stayed out a little too late to be going to “dinner” with a few friends? A lot of misunderstandings in relationships have to do with WHAT is said and HOW it is said (or asked, given the previous example). If you see that homeboy/homegirl is taking your concerns the wrong way, then PLEASE do not argue with them because it will make matters worse. I’ve known some relationships to break up over a misunderstanding so simple, that it could have been cleared up if the two just sat down and talked about it. It only takes a few minutes to take a step back and try your best to clear up the misunderstanding (if there is one).

Lying/Cheating. For SERIOUS relationship only. Problems such as lying/cheating in a relationship is definitely one that will ruin a relationship --- to the point of no return. But here is where honesty can play a big part. If you catch your man/woman in a lie – give them a chance to be honest. If he/she truly wants to make it work, then the truth will come. Understand that being honest isn’t the EASIEST thing to do for everybody (and stop acting like YOU’RE an angel, LOL). Now if your man/woman tells you that they have cheated on you --- as HORRIBLE as that is --- you should give them credit. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but look at it like this. A huge mistake they’ve made has weighed on their conscience so much, that they had to come clean because they really want to make it work. They should also be able to tell you WHY they felt the need to go into the arms of someone else. If you lie/cheat, you should be able to own up to your mistakes and do the same thing. If he/she is willing to make it work, then they will be all ears. I mean --- it’s not guaranteed that the relationship will survive, but it’s worth a shot. On the other hand, finding out that your man/woman cheated is something totally different lol. You need to handle that!

Still…
Whether it’s lack of communication, misunderstandings or something much worse, people will end a relationship because it seems too stressful or they feel that the problems can’t be solved. I can understand that.

There is also a difference between a relationship that has a problem every once in a while versus a relationship that has problems every day. When ANY relationship becomes stessful, it’s time to reevaluate why one is still in the relationship in the first place.

It all boils down to whether you TWO want it to work. If the feeling is mutual, then how you SOLVE your problems will bring you two even closer.

Oh well, that’s just me…

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’

Is it necessary to establish rules in a relationship?

Would you be jealous if your man/woman went to the club with his/her single friends? Are you allowed to talk to your ex? Do you have to ask permission to go out? Are you calling him/her every night before you go to bed?

The reason why I come to you today is because I’ve found that there are several relationships that have “rules.” Some people believe that rules are necessary because they create the foundation of a honest relationship, but some may argue that rules are limiting boundaries and can be broken.

I honestly feel that EVERY relationship has some sort of rules. What’s important is that both parties UNDERSTAND what’s appropriate and what’s not.

With that said…

*Question*
“Is it necessary to establish rules in a relationship?”

*4 Questions to consider*
“Are rules a result of trust/insecurity/jealousy issues?”
“Does our past have something to do with rules set in relationships?”
“Can rules ultimately strengthen or weaken a relationship?”
“Is there a such thing such as “good” rules?”
“Is there a difference between rules and “common courtesy?” If so, how would you describe “common courtesy,” in a relationship?”

Here's Where I Stand @ www.hwiss.blogspot.com

Here’s Where I Stand…
I believe that rules in relationships are the result of trust/insecurity/jealousy issues, and here’s why:

If we have been hurt in the past, we try to find ways to avoid the same issue. Most rules are set in place to prevent a person from doing something that will increase their chances of “messing something up.” As such, a good example of a rule is “No more talking to exes.”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why this is such a big issue – but what people fail to realize is that it is very possible to have exes that are good friends.
In fact, some best friends used to date at one time or another. Would this rule be necessary if it was known that the ex has no more interest in you as you do in him/her?
Is it worth losing a friend because your man/woman doesn’t approve?

I honestly think that rules can damage a relationship; especially those that limit a person’s freedom. For example, if John can’t go to the club with his boys because you know he’s going to dance with Tonya, LaCandi’ne and Jane – then he may find a way to do it ANYWAY!

Still…
The only “good rules,” are that of common courtesy. Every successful relationship has this notion of a common courtesy which leads to a mutual understanding of what should be done, and what shouldn’t be done. You SHOULD want to call your man/woman before you go to sleep each night, You SHOULD want to tell your man/woman that you are going out with your friends (instead of making something up because you’re afraid he/she will get mad). I’m rambling, so let me put it like this.

As long as “good rules” are set in place to increase the communication of a relationship, then rules are fine with me.

Where do you stand?

Lose the trust issues and give love a try

What's good everyone? Welcome to “On the Corner!”

In this series, I will discuss things that I want to voice my personal opinion on.

I wanted to come to you all this evening to discuss how I feel about trust in relationships. Sure, it’s a broad topic, but this post focuses primarily on trust issues.

Here’s Where I Stand…
I believe people who have been hurt once or twice (maybe more) tend to develop a sense of insecurity that leads them to have trust issues. Unfortunately these trust issues can lead them to ruin potential or current relationships. You know the type: the somebody who’s been hurt so much that they believe that they are the only person they can trust. If you find yourself in this category and would like to try to make a relationship work, you must do the following: lose the trust issues and give love a try.

Trust Yourself. Understand that if you want to be in a relationship, you must first trust yourself. Trust that you are able to handle a relationship and all that comes with it. Know that there will be just as many bad times as there are good, and that sometimes YOU may be the cause of those rifts. In those cases, you need to be able to trust that you will be able to stand strong and admit when you are wrong. Trust that you will be secure in yourself and that someone is interested in you for a reason. Last but not least, trust that you are strong enough not to give into any temptation.

Trust Him/Her. Forget about those who hurt you in the past. Start your relationship with a new slate. A relationship can flourish as long as there is trust and open communication. Believe that he/she will tell you everything/anything you NEED to know. Don’t question his/her motives; understand that he/she has the freedom to do what he/she wants to do. Do NOT assume the worst; it will only make you stress. Understand that he/she may not respond to a text message whenever you send one – or pick up the phone when you call. Most importantly trust that you are the ONLY one this person is seeing.

Trust in Relationships. Trust that love is possible. Know that you are worth loving and that there is someone out there worth loving back. Learn not to compare old relationships to the present because every relationship is different. Do not assume that one person is trying more than the other – but understand that we all have different ways of showing affection. Understand that there is nothing “too good to be true,” but there is something “good ENOUGH to be true.” As such, you have to believe that love is found when people least expect it --- but normally when they’re ready. They just have to be willing to make it work.

Still…
If you decide to put your full trust into someone and a relationship, all you need is ONE reason to take it back. The moment you doubt ANYTHING – whether it’s yourself, your significant other, or the relationship – it’s time for you to leave. The more you start to suspect that something is wrong, your whole mindframe about the relationship will change.

The suspicions will lead to investigations that will lead to accusations that will lead to arguments that will ultimately lead to a break up. It’s not worth the drama and it’s sure as hell not worth the time. No relationship can survive without trust.

This blog reads a bit like a sermon --- but that’s where I stand on trust issues.

Where do YOU stand ‘On the Corner?’

Guess who's BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK?

What's good HWISS?

Yep -- after a month of -- a lot of stuff -- I'm finally back to get the blog rolling again. It's a new season, so the blog has a new look. Chu like? Chu like?

Okay -- I'll post two topics a month (on the 15th and the last day of the month)-- and I will expand my reach to different groups of people: Facebook and its groups, MySpace and other blogs.

Going forward, my blogs will be posted under three different categories:

Where Do You Stand? - My traditional-style type post, here is where I will post a topic/situation and ask readers what they think. I will offer my opinion (both pros and cons) on the topic/situation at hand.
On the Corner - If I strongly feel a certain way about a certain topic/situation/issue, I will state my thoughts and keep it at that. It'll be my way of "venting."
Readers Want to Know - Many readers often send me a message through Facebook or an instant messager and ask me to cover a topic. Some readers actually write their thoughts on an issue and ask me to respond. This will be your way of taking a stand.

Anyway -- just wanted to let you all know that I am back -- and I am always open to new ideas! Keep me posted!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's On the Corner entry.

Where will you stand?

~Mr. HWISS

...Be back on 3/15, actually

HWISS --- yall wouldn't believe what I've been going through this past month ---

Due to some unforseen circumstances, I've had to push my END-Of-GRIND goal to March 15.

It's that serious -- but I know yall understand! When I'm back, I hope to have some good updates!

On a hiatus -- be back 3.1.09

Wassup HWISS?

How's it going? It's been a while, but things have been pretty busy in the life of T.H.

I'm 15 days away (or 14) from completing one of the biggest steps toward my goal of entering grad school --- and it's time to make things happen!

It's not like I haven't been doing it before --- but you know, I'm just saying.

Anyway -- I've been thinking about some cool ideas with HWISS, and I'll be coming back with a new page/new look in March!

Stay tuned!!!

For those who wish to submit a topic, feel free to send them through FB or MS --- or through here (though I don't know how to check messages yet lol)

*looks at clock*

Okay -- back to business!

I'll be back! Until then -- enjoy the page, and take care!

To the Other Man/Woman: Let go before it's too late

Most "other men/women" have no intentions other than sleeping with somebody who they find attractive.

However, not ALL "other men/women" are bad; some are truly caring people who have the intention of winning someone's heart. If you find yourself in this population, then this message is for you: Let go before it's too late.

Here's Where I Stand...
We can't control who we fall for --- and that may be one of the worst things about love. However, when it comes to falling for people who place you at #2 (or #3), then the problem becomes worse.

Let go! Why would you put yourself and your feelings out there to be somebody's #2? --- If you are satisfied with being someone else's #2, where do you place yourself in your own standards?

--- Let go: Stop stressing about someone who can't make up their own mind.

--- Let go: Stop letting yourself fall deeper for someone who doesn't see you the same.

--- Let go: Because if a person TRULY wants to be with you, then you would never have the title, "the other man/woman."

Point blank: You can NOT make somebody like/love/choose you.

Sometimes we get ourselves so wrapped up in our feelings and our hopes, that we forget the harsh reality of how things really are. It's better to fall back before your feelings get more involved and possibly, more hurt.

If it's meant to be --- it'll be.

Still...
Letting go is easier said than done. Holding on may actually work in your favor. Well --- maybe you'll just have a 50/50 chance: You'll either continue to get played, or he/she will finally come to his/her senses and choose you.

If a person TRULY wants to be with you, there shouldn't be any juggling between you and his/her relationship.

If you decide to stick with it --- the question becomes --- how long are you willing to hold on?

Where do you stand?

Lack of over-the-top affection = lack of interest?

What's up HWISS?

I come to you tonight to talk about something that a few friends and I discussed a few days ago:
When the "excitement" of dating goes sour (for the extreme lack of words).

Dating -- if you take the time to get to know someone -- can be very fun and exciting, until the over-the-top things that you and your potential boo did to win each other's heart, goes down the drain.

And this ^^^ is exactly where the problem lies:

Statement of discussion
The lack of over-the-top affection (calling, texting or whatever you want to call it) = lack of interest.

Here's where I stand
Just because someone doesn't show the same amount of affection that he/she did at the beginning does not necessarily mean that there is any lack of interest.

I believe that most people go above and beyond to show the other person that they're truly interested (at first). After a while, however, he/she gets to the point where they don't have to try anymore. As such, you may not get the call every night before you go to bed, or you may not get the "Have a good day, baby" text message just because.

I think that we get so spoiled when things are "new" and "exciting" that we get upset when things become normal. As such, it's easy to assume that when it all stops, the person is no longer interested.

Maybe it's just me, but a couple that's been together for one month has a lot more excitement in their relationship than a couple that's been together for twenty years.

Still...
Maybe it COULD mean that the person isn't interested. When you're standing on the other side -- you have to ask yourself what you really want. There's a difference between being happy and being satisfied. If you find yourself "satisfied" with a person you're dating -- then there is no chance that you two will ever move further in your relationship.

It's okay to want "more." After all, we deserve the best for ourselves. Let's just hope that we don't find ourselves asking for "too much" when we have something great right in front of us.

Anyway --- I've done enough talking...

Where do you stand?

Fate brings us together

Wassup HWISS,

I just spent nearly two hours trying to put my thoughts on paper -- but couldn't seem to find the right words to explain how I feel. I don't know WHY I feel this way, but I do know THAT I feel this way. Here goes everything:

You see --- I believe that it is fate that ultimately brings people together/pulls people apart. Everyone comes in/out of your life for a reason. They all serve a specific purpose in your life whether you are satisfied with the consequences or not.

In the cases where relationships go wrong, it’s important not to focus on WHY a relationship didn’t work, but to accept THAT a relationship didn’t work. You get the difference?

Worrying about why a relationship didn’t work out can lead to countless hours/days/weeks -- and hopefully not -- months of stress. Accepting THAT a relationship didn’t work means realizing that no matter how hard we/the other person tries, feelings can not be FORCED; it has to be a mutual connection that really makes a relationship work.

We spend our whole lives LOOKING for the “right person,” but are often disappointed when things go wrong.

What I’m trying to say is, “Stop LOOKING for love to happen and LET love happen.”

Relax… let things flow and let fate take its course. Have fun, enjoy yourself and if everything works out, know that there is a reason for it --- the challenging part is figuring out what that reason is.

Who knows – the reason might be right under your nose ;)

Where do you stand?